Expect Poison From the Standing Water
by pandorabox82
Summary: An unexpected attack finds Garak back on Deep Space Nine. But will that lead to his desires being finally fulfilled?


Garak hummed under his breath a little as he surveyed the wreckage that was his Cardassia. He had always known that returning home after the War would mean changes, but this level of stagnation was a little more than he could bear. It seemed as if certain segments of the population had just given up, preferring to dwell in dust and ruin rather than build a glorious future for their world.

Shaking his head a little, Garak picked his way through the rubble and to the cleared street, walking with ease to his current accommodations. Though the house wasn't much, it was enough to build a life in, and it was his. The only thing missing was someone to share that life with. And inevitably, his thoughts turned to the dear doctor he had left behind on Terek Nor.

They had tried sending video messages to each other once a week, but that had soon fallen by the wayside as Garak had focused on centralizing his position of power on Cardassia and Julian had focused on his relationship (such as it was) with Ezri. And Garak found that he couldn't even be angry at the young woman, since it appeared that she was bringing him such great joy. And after everything Julian had been through at the hands of the Founders, he deserved to find that in his life.

Stepping inside his house, Garak felt a sense of unease envelope him and his hum came to an abrupt halt as he began to take stock of the situation. Everything appeared to be in order, and he took a hesitant step forward, only to gasp involuntarily when he felt a sharp prick in the soft flesh between his neck scales. Whirling around, he saw an unfamiliar face melt into the darkness of his home as the edges of his vision began to turn black. "It was to be expected, I suppose," he murmured thickly as he fell to his knees. His last conscious thought was of his dear doctor, and how he would never see him again.

"…and then go," Garak heard fuzzily, as if he had bits of cotton stuck in his ears. The cynical side of him knew not to give away the fact that he was awake, and he listened carefully to take stock of his surroundings. The feminine voice had sounded extremely familiar, and he only hoped that she would speak once more so that he could place her. "Julian, how did even know that he was in trouble?"

Bashir laughed, that nervous sound he gave when he didn't particularly want to give away some piece of information that he was holding close to his vest. "I just knew, Ezri. I can't really explain it."

The young woman let out a frustrated sigh, and Garak felt his lips involuntarily twitch upwards at the sound. Though he knew it would do him no good, it seemed that there was trouble in paradise, which pleased him no end. "Well, when you figure out exactly what it is that you want to tell me, I'll be in my office."

In his mind, Garak pictured the woman stomping out of the room, and it was difficult to keep from laughing aloud. "You can stop pretending that you're still unconscious, Garak. You forget that with my enhancements, I know more than I let on."

This brought out a true smile in him, and he sat up and turned his gaze on the doctor. There was a similar look of amusement on his face, and Garak checked the sigh that threatened to fall from his lips. "It is extremely good to see your face, my dear doctor."

"You have no idea just how true that is, Elim." There was a tender, almost poignant, pause and it took everything in Garak to keep from reaching out and revealing just how tender he was in this moment. "You gave us quite a scare there, you know. If I had been even five minutes later, you wouldn't have woken up at all."

"What happened?" Garak asked as he set his feet down on the floor and took a few tentative steps over to the replicator, finding his mouth extremely dry.

"Someone injected you with a slow acting neurotoxin, and were it not for the little information you gave me over the years about Cardassian physiology, I might not have been able to counteract it."

"Expect poison from the standing water," Garak said as he picked up his mug of tea, taking a sip of the too hot liquid.

"I'm sorry?"

Garak looked up into Julian's eyes and arched one eye ridge at him. "It's an old Cardassian saying, though I did borrow Terran words, to make it more understandable for you. There are some things that your universal translator is horrendous at rendering correctly."

"Ah!" Julian replied, giving him an understanding smile before crossing the small distance between them and reaching out to rest his hand on Garak's arm. The warm weight of it centered Garak much more than he would ever let on, though he couldn't stop the brief sigh that slipped from his lips. "I really do not know what I would have done had I lost you, Elim. Even if you're not here anymore, even if you're fighting to rebuild something great on Cardassia, you still matter to me."

There was an earnest honesty to the younger man's words, one that he knew he couldn't rebuff, not in that shimmering moment of closeness between them, and he nodded slowly. "You still matter to me, as well, my dear doctor."

"Julian," he stressed as he closed his eyes and let out a deep huff of a breath. "While you're here, at least call me by my name, and make me happy."

"Happiness is an illusion, Julian," he muttered. Still, there was something so soothing about having the man so close to him once more, so close that he could kiss him, if he could be so bold. "I've had to move past that illusion so that I can rebuild Cardassia."

"You're not possibly thinking of going back there? They almost killed you, would have done so had I not gotten the notification. Thank god someone on that forsaken rock you call a planet decided to have a heart and not watch you die. If I had lost you –"

His words broke off harshly, and Garak nodded a little, understanding the unspoken pain that hammered in Julian's voice. It was the same pain that he couldn't give word to, either, and he yearned to close the small distance between them and hold Julian in his arms. But if Garak was truly honest with himself, he knew that if he were to do so, he would never let him go. And he had to, if he was to rebuild his homeworld.

"If I had lost you, my dear Julian, there wouldn't have been any hope," he finally whispered in the man's ear, unwilling to release those words to the air at large. They were sacred words, meant only for the recipient, and he only hoped that there would come a time when the pain of hope would fade to a miserable twinge in his chest, focused upon only when he was in a funk.

Julian threw all caution to the wind as he wrapped his arms around Garak's waist, embracing him tightly as he rested his head on Garak's chest. Words seemed empty, hollow, by this point, and he trusted the man enough to close his own eyes, allowing himself to be almost defenseless, trusting that Julian wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. "Hope is the thing with feathers," was whispered back in his ear, and Garak frowned, not understanding the reference. "That's from another Terran poet. There's more that goes with it, but I think those are the most appropriate words to tell you. Hope is always able to fly."

A shuddering breath fluttered its way from Julian's lips, washing over his neck, and Garak unconsciously tightened his grip around Julian's waist. "Your soul always flies to your family."

"Ah, Cardassian proverbs now. How good to hear them once again from your lips." He fought the smile that wanted to spread across his face, instead choosing to slip one hand up to cradle Julian's head, holding it closer to his chest so that he wouldn't see the war of emotions on his face. "Is there anything else you wish to tell me about the family unit?"

"No." In reality, there was so much that he wanted to tell Julian, but they were no longer that close. Julian pulled away from him a little so that he could look into Garak's eyes, and he knew that he had failed to shut away his emotions quickly enough, as Julian gave him a sad little smile before leaning in and kissing him softly.

"I won't apologize for that, Elim. It's been too long since we've shared an intimate moment, and I needed that just as much as you do. Please, don't go back."

Garak closed his eyes, needing to shut Julian out for a moment. "I'm needed there, even if others seem to feel that I'm useless, that I'm stagnant, poisonous, water. I'm sorry."

"Then let me come with you."

Garak laughed, hating the bitter sound on his ears. "You would not like Cardassia, my dear Julian." The doctor cocked an eyebrow up in challenge, and Garak shook his head a little. "No. You have Ezri and your life here. There's nothing I can offer you on Cardassia."

"There's everything you can offer me. And I can stir up the water around you, so that the poison won't have a chance to build up. Because that's what family does for each other."

"We're not family."

"Not yet. But I realized something whilst you were down there on Cardassia, and I was here with Ezri. I want to be your family." Julian brushed his fingers along the scales on Garak's neck, giving him a tender look as he did so. "There's only so much time we're afforded in life, and I want to spend the rest of that allotment with you."

Garak sighed, knowing that Julian would just keep hounding after him, trying to wear him down if he said no. "I'm going home as soon as I'm well enough to do so. What choice you make is yours alone. But think long and hard about what your decision is. Somehow, I think that Starfleet might have something to say about your defection."

Julian cut his words off with another kiss, this one a little more demanding than the first one, and Garak gave himself over to the sensations that swept over him, relishing the warmth that bled off the man's lips. "I think that you know what my decision will be. And you will no longer expect poison from every quarter. Not while I'm around."

The assuredness in his dear doctor's voice seemed to quell the lingering questions in his mind, though he knew that would only be for a short time. Yet, he would take however short a time they had together, if it meant that they would be together. "I'm going to hold you to that, my dear doctor. Now, go, and let me get some rest. There is still much that needs to be done on my homeworld." Julian nodded as he stepped away from Garak, a twinkle in his eye telling him that the doctor thought that he had pulled one over on Garak. He knew, though, that he would need that positivity in his life for the months to come, since he knew that the things were only bound to get worse before they got better.


End file.
